Transformers Plus Dating Equals 0o
by LokiWaterDraca
Summary: When Sam is of suitible age and still doesnt have a mate 'Bee and Jazz decide to help him out, written as a fic for saesamas deviant picture, link inside. Will have smut and is JazzSamBee ONESHOT


Original Tital: Setting The Mood

My Title: Transformers Plus Dating Equals 0.o

This bunny was formed from a very special pic done by saesama on deviant art :D, this will make MUCH more sense if you see it first! Link:

http:// saesama.deviantart. com/art /Transformers-setting -the-mood- 60446713

(Take out the spaces)

And this is rated M for a reason lots 'o' smut in this baby

Disclaimer: I dont own Transformers but by primus I wish I did!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jazz paused when he saw his fellow mech holding his human and rocking back and forth, Sam had a 'what the fuck?!' look on his face and was trying desperately to get away.

"What the hell are you doing?"

'Bee looked up "I'm trying to help Sam… um what's the word?... get laid."

"Let go of me, no your not!" The little human yelled, Jazz snorted, "Man you don't know nuttin' 'bout settin' the mood." He began playing Marvin Gaye with a smirk, "Plus he still has clothes on."

Sam looked ready to die; he was blushing vividly and almost shrieked when Bumblebee nodded before trying to pull off his shirt. "Stop before I tell Optimus on you!"

Optimuses voice echoed down the hall at his words, "Good job men its 'bout damn time! Sorry Sam but I have to agree with them." The human stopped struggling and his head dropped down, "I hate you guys."

"We know!" Bumblebee said cheerfully.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ok so what did we do wrong?" Bumblebee asked.

"We didn't set the mood, he still had clothin' on, we def'antly _do not_ have their matin' equipment, an' yet 'gain we didn't set the mood." Jazz grumbled before downing a energon cube. "Listen 'Bee I hope 'ur not doin' this jus' cause he ain't mated yet, I mean that's just kinda…"

"Of course not! I love him and… jeez he _really_ needs a intimate relationship with someone." Jazz raised an optic ridge, "What do you mean 'Bee?"

"Jazz he hasn't has a fragging relationship with anybody after Michaela and… the internet says it's not healthy!"

The blue and grey mech looked thoughtful for a few minutes, "Hey 'Bee can you make your hologram solid yet?"

"Yeah why- oh oh ohhhhh! Seriously Jazz you're a genius!!"

"I know now come on we have supplies to get and research for the 'first time' to do."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Saaaaaam! Where are ya'? 'Bee an' meh' gotta surprise for ya'! Come on we won't hurt ya'." The human crouched lower in Ironhides cab mantraing, "Please don't find me, _please_ don't find me."

He closed his eyes when he heard a hand hit the roof of the GMC truck, "There ya' are Sammy boy, thought ya' could hide from meh'?"

Sam yelped as the door was opened and Jazz's hand gripped his leg to pull him out, his fingers scambled against 'Hides leather seating. The human was still struggling when 'Hides door slammed shut, "You guys are nutters." He grumbled before speeding off.

Grinning the spy sprayed something in Sams face, and made a giggling sound as the human went limp in his hands, 'Bee would be so happy!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come on wakey wakey," Sam stirred and opened his eyes groggily to find a face not even two inches from his own. He jumped and tried to move away only to find ropes keeping him in place, on a bed. Lit candles hade been placed everywhere, and gave the room a soft glow.

"'Bee?! What the hell!?" The hologram smiled seductively, "We got the mood right this time, so just relax, and enjoy yourself."

"Why are you doing this? 'Bee come on lemme go!" Bumblebee frowned, "Sam you haven't had barely _any_ contact with your own species in two _years_, after Micheala left for primus sakes humans your age have at least _tried_ to get a mate!"

"I…" Sam paused, "I'm fine with hanging with you guys besides I needed to figure out a few things after 'Keala left."

'Bee cocked his head, "What did you need to figure out?"

"Stuff."

"Mmmhhhmmm," The hologram ran a hand along Sams thigh, "B-Bee?!"

"I'm telling you Sam just _relax_, no figuring anything out, no thinking period." His other hand moved to his human's neck and began rubbing lightly; the motions forced Sam to do as his guardian wanted.

"That's better," 'Bee crawled up to stare into Sams dark amber eyes, hands still working. "Tell me Sam, please? What were you trying to figure out?"

"If… if I really loved Micheala… I figured out that I didn't, I love some one else." Breath hitched in Bumblebees hologram and intakes at once, "Who?"

Sam paused and 'Bee spoke again, "Who?!"

"…You which is why I don't want this, I wont not just cause you pity or feel sorry for the loveless organic!" The human turned away and closed his eyes, "That's why you freaked before isn't it?" His voice was soft; Sam nodded roughly and choked back a sob.

"Oh Sam…" 'Bee pulled him into as much of a hug as he could with the ropes still in place, "I just don't want you to feel lonely, I know how much you humans need to touch and feel and… I guess it was selfish but I love you and this was a scape goat."

His words were whispered but Sam heard them and pressed closer, chuckling. "I love you too buddy… can you untie me now?"

"No, now that we have established it's not for pity I intend to finish what I started," Bumblebee smirked and shifted before pressing their lips together.

Sam opened his mouth, letting in an amazingly wet tongue. He could just barely feel the bed shift as another person climbed up. "Mmmmm 'Bee ya' guys work out ya' feelin's then?" Jazz giggled, they pulled apart, Sam blushing a bright red.

"Calm down Sammy I'm jus' 'ere ta' join th' fun," He leaned down and gave the human a chaste kiss; turning to the other hologram he licked his lips. "Yum he's tasty."

"I know, Jazz, shall we have some fun then?" Sams eyes widened, making the two holograms laugh. Bumblebee nuzzled the human and bit his ear, forcing a small mewl from Sams lips.

"See? I told you," He bit down harder, getting a louder mewl in return.

Not to be out done Jazz started rubbing his hands along Sams torso, the sensations made their captive squirm and thrash until he was held down by 'Bee. "Wow, if you act this way with simple touches I can't wait to see you later…" He purred into the human's ear.

A groan answered his words and the hologram smiled before ripping off Sam's shirt and nodding to Jazz, who did the same with his pants and boxers. The two holo's own clothing disappeared, fizzling out.

Jazz grinned at the look on Sams face as he ran his hands on the inner part of the humans thigh, seeming to like the reaction he did it again only moving up to 'accidentally' brush against Sams lower regions.

Groans echoed from both as well as 'Bee when with a growl their human captive pushed himself up and without warning licked the poor holograms erection from base to tip. "S-s-sa-a-mmmm s-s-sto-o-p!"

"No…"

The second hologram giggled and licked his friends neck coming up from behind to wrap his arms around Bumblebee, holding him still. "J-jaz-zzz w-what are you do-oing!"

"Holdin' ya' still." He started sucking at the blonds neck leaving holo' hickys on the pale skin while Sam continued his ministrations from below.

The sounds coming from Bumblebee made them speed up even more sending the poor holo over the edge with a scream of pure ecstasy. Afterwards holding the limp 'Bee, Jazz gently layed him down near Sam, who looked concerned. "Don' worry he's jus' recalibratin' weh' sent 'im over th' edge, ya' need ta' worry 'bout what I'm 'bout ta' do to ya'"

The human gulped and when the hologram began licking at his neck as he had down with 'Bee, arched mouth open in a deep throaty moan. "Mmm I jus' love doin' that!" His tongue dipped lower to Sams chest, were it swirled around a nipple. Again the reaction from his captive made Jazz smile, "Yes I really do love doin' that'"

"And I love doing this," Bumblebee pounced on him, shoving his fellow hologram down and kissing him fiercely. Jazz pulled him closer wrapping his legs around 'Bees waist, with a low growl.

Sam groaned at the sight and the fact that that were making out, on top of him and the human realized what 'Bee must've felt when he had kissed Micheala on the mechs hood.

With Jazz pressed against him Sam leaned up and copyed the other holograms idea and nibbled on his ear, the hologram arched at the feel panting.

"D-don' st-top," Jazz moaned out. Smiling Bumblebee nibbled on his lips and ran his nails down the other holograms shoulder blades before sitting up suddenly, Jazz followed suit and Sam tried to as well but was pushed back easily by the hologram sitting on him.

Grinning 'Bee reached over and grabbed a bear shaped bottle and began pouring a yellow sticky substance all over the humans chest and lower areas. Jazz giggled, "Honey to th' 'Bee that's what ya' are Sam, honey ta' 'ur Bumblebee."

He knelt running a tongue through the sweet honey, "Mmm an' I thought ya' tasted good 'fore… yummy." Sam gasped at the feel as 'Bee began his own assault down south. He arched into the warm mouths, moaning their names over and over.

It wasn't long until the two holograms had there fill and paused, staring down at the flustered gasping human. "I really do think he's enjoyin' 'imself what do ya' say 'Bee? Should we up it 'nother notch? I kinda wanna hear 'im scream…" Jazz said with a very un-Jazz evil grin.

"Yes, I think so…" 'Bee split Sams legs apart and reached down pressing against his asshole with two fingers, the human pressed against him and whimpered desperately when the hologram started massaging the tight ring of muscle.

Ever so slowly 'Bees fingers inched their way in and then without warning split apart, Sams mouth opened in a cry of pleasure and he shot up, giving Jazz a chance to force him back down and French kiss the human into submission.

When he was satisfied with the sounds his human was making the hologram pulled his fingers out, Jazz noticed and moved pressing himself against Sam's erection with a smirk just as 'Bee pushed inside his tight ass.

"Oh… m-my primus…" Jazz groaned out hissing, similar cries came from the others, the two holograms started moving in time with each other. When 'Bee pushed in Jazz would rock his hips. Screams erupted from the three after only minutes of the pattern.

The bed creaked; threatening to fall apart as all three came at once, panting the holograms collapsed on top of their human, who was still tied up.

It was quite awhile before a shaking Jazz sat up and untied Sam, Bumblebee moved shortly after pressing close and basically squishing the human between them.

"Love you guys," Sam whispered closing his eyes with a yawn. In response the holograms pressed into him tighter and refused to budge even when the human fell asleep.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(wink) see I told ya' R&R please even if its just to say 'what the hell is wrong with you?!?!' haha :D


End file.
